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Old 08-26-2005, 07:16 AM   #101
Andres
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I saw this movie. Look, I don't want to be the mean guy. In fact, I think the director has potential. But this movie was a failure in almost any aspect I can think of. I'm not gonna write a review, I'm just gonna FREE FLOW here.

Ok, first of all, let's mention the good parts. I liked some of the directing. There were a few really well planned shots, particularly near the end. I also liked the fact that there were set pieces, as opposed to just random death. The director has a good eye when he feels like it. Also, it is my belief that making a horror movie in 3dmm is one of the hardest things to do, so I can forgive some of this, since I can't think of anyone who could pull it off perfectly.

Now let's go with the bad. The director is a capable 'director'. In the Hollywood sense of the word. However, a 3dmm director does EVERYTHING. In this case, he fails at everything BUT directing.

First of all, the look of the movie. A year ago, this movie would have been fine. Acceptable, since 3dmm was fairly limited. But this isn't a year ago. This is now. v3dmm offers people the ability to DO MORE STUFF. This movie fails to do that. I'm talking about production design. And wardrobe. The spaceship looked like dogshit. It was just a fucking grey floor, with fucking grey walls that had lines coming out of it. Is that necessarily bad? No. But here you have the opportunity to create an ominous, horror-movie ship. A ship that feels like THE SHIP FROM THE MOVIE 'DERELICT', not the ship from any shitty movie released from 1998 to now. Second of all, the costumes. You've gotta be shitting me with this one. v3dmm is PERFECT for a movie like this, since its sci-fi. characters need their special clothes, the movie needs it defining future look. Instead, we get a bunch of dumbasses using normal clothes IN OUTER SPACE. As I said, this would have been fine one year ago. But it isn't one year ago. It's today. and today, that shit sucks. So that's the first failure here. It's a movie set in a very specific 'world', yet no attempt is made to create this world. The director just tossed in some actors and used the traditional grey texture. BLEH.

Second of all, the sound in this movie was completely inept. I can't tell you how many times the sound would just DIE. The music would just END. No footsteps. No real ambient sound. No screams when people die. Nothing. This is a horror movie. You're supposed to use sound, since it's scary. But no. No sound here. If this movie had been done right, I would be hearing the aliens' sounds right now, while writing this review. But no. I don't even remember if they HAD a cool sound. The voice acting was fucking lame too. No one had any memorable lines. There were some horrible deliveries. Like just HORRIBLE. Characters barely showed any emotion, and when they did, it was generally horribly acted. Next time, send the movie to your actors so that they don't have to guess how it plays out (I'm assuming you didn't do this. if you did, the actors are mentally retarded). Oh, the music was pretty fucking annoying too. None of it was really memorable, for one. It was typical horror movie music. No soul to it. No distinctiveness. There was a particularly ridiculous moment near the end when the music just blared and roared while the scene just STOOD STILL AND NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED. Stop. Stop overdramatizing shit.

While I said some of the directing was good, some of it was lame too. First of all, this movie lacked visceral scenes. Everything was just slow buildup and smooth movement. Nothing drastic, nothing brutal, just smooth, sterilized 'suspense'. While that might work well for SUSPENSE, it doesn't work for payoff. The direction suffered this throughout the whole movie. The whole fucking movie. The whole approach was wrong, for the most part. Either the buildup would fail, or the payoff would fail. These are scenes of people getting killed. People. Getting. Killed. But you don't see, hear, or feel any brutality whatsoever. You don't see carnage. You don't hear carnage. You don't see chaos. You don't hear chaos. You don't FEEL chaos. The directing just DIES at the moments when it should spring alive. Death is when the movie needs to aim for the jugular, to throw the characters into chaos and messiness, since this is a chaotic and messy situation. Rather than that, the camera just lingers, doing not much of anything. I enjoy the fact that Mousenator wants to build up suspense, but at some point, you've GOTTA HAVE MORE EXCITEMENT. The movie lacks excitement. While I'm sounding like some hip MTV director here, this movies SCREAM for quicker cuts, camera shaking, or blood gushing. NOT offscreen deaths or mild pans while a character is being offed. The movie was like one hour long, and it could have EASILY been 20 minutes less. Perhaps even more. There were moments in which the camera just stupidly lingered on corpses for like half a minute. WHY. This is 3dmm. This isn't reality. The corpses aren't scary. The music by itself isn't scary. It just looks DUMB. 3dmm has limitations, and scaring is one of them. Characters looking shocked, corpses and blood... NOT SCARY. The movie could have been way scarier and way more effective by being quicker, more concise, and less stupidly 'suspenseful'.

But the most egregious thing here was the screenplay. I could forgive many of the previous flaws, but the screenplay was dogshit. Complete and utter dogshit. This is spoiler territory, btw. First of all, every single character fucking sucked. They were nothing. Not even one dimensional. They were literally nothing. No one had any personality whatsoever. There were some slight attempts at it, but they didn't do shit, because the characters just appeared. Everyone was just kinda there and then THEY DIED. The first act of the movie is so fucking boring. A SHIP APPEARS. AND SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SOME UNINTERESTING PEOPLE GET INSIDE. AND DIE. Who cares? Does the audience care? Are these people interesting? Are these people ANYONE? The beginning of the movie was totally useless. It added like 10 totally unnecessary minutes to this already bloated borefest. And then the real stuff starts and characters talk solely in service of the plot. As I said, no one has anything even remotely resembling a personality (the only thing that made alien resurrection interesting). What's even funnier is that some completely ridiculous soap opera shit is thrown in for no reason whatsoever. NONE. It was laughable.

It gets worse. The script then turns into PEOPLE WANDERING. That's it. There's no clear objective, no goal, no NOTHING. It's literally people wandering and getting picked off by aliens. This kills the movie. The reason this kills the movie is because WHAT THE FUCK AM I EXPECTING. It's not like I'm thinking "shit, girl! get to the space shuttle before the aliens block the door" or "yeah, use THAT to kill him". It's just a bunch of people doing nothing. It's aimless. And since it's aimless, it's boring.

And it gets worser. The scene where the guy supposedly sacrifices himself for the girl was horrendously bad. It was fucking stupid beyond belief. It wasn't a set piece, it wasn't a courageous scene. Mousenator, it's like you thought the guy needed to die saving his girlfriend, but couldnt come up with a good way to do it, so you PULLED IT OUT OF NOWHERE. that scene sucked so hard. the guy's like BE RIGHT BACK, LOL and then he dies. jesus fucking christ.

And it gets even worse. Then the guy appears, fucks the girl, and then the girl finds the guy hurt. Then we realize she fucked a fake guy, and the fake guy tells her the explanation for doing so, which is BREEDING.

That little scene was supposed to be 'surprising' or something. What it does is turn the movie from obnoxiously amateurish to downright mentally retarded. What the fuck were you thinking, man? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING. That is one of the dumbest things I have seen ina 3 dmm movie, and I've seen dumb. THINK ABOUT IT:

This alien wants to BREED. It needs to BREED. Apparently. That's the apparent motivation here. BREEDING. That's why THE ALIEN KILLED EVERY SINGLE PERSON, RIGHT? Look. An alien can't breed with a human. That's why the movie ALIENS had the aliens growing inside a human. Any human. Male or female. But here, the alien just KILLS EVERYONE, yet supposedly impregnates a woman? This is completely ridiculous and defies every law of biology ever known. Even if you have an excuse, like 'oh, the alien needed a HUMAN WOMB', it's still fucking dumb. Because now you have an alien that, OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE can MORPH, ASSIMILATE THE HUMAN LANGUAGE, and EXPLAIN ITS MOTIVATION TO ITS VICTIM? What the fuck is this horseshit?!? That's the worst plot development I've seen in sooo, soo long. The most idiotic thing is the suggestion that this alien basically masterminded a plan to impregnate this woman and survive. His plan is so great that HE COULDN'T DO SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS DISPOSING OF THE REAL DUDE AND HIDING HIS CORPSE. No. The corpse is right there in front of the chick. Get the fuck out of here. that plot development RUINS the movie. The movie had been decent before because at least THE ALIENS MADE SENSE. They are animals killing humans to protect themselves. But now they're intelligent beings with the ability to assimilate other languages, shapeshift, YET WHAT THEY DO IS THEY EAT OTHER PEOPLE AND LEAVE THEIR CORPSES OUT IN THE FUCKING OPEN.

No, no, no, no, no.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:18 AM   #102
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And it gets even WORSE!!!

The fucking alien TELLS THE WOMAN HIS MOTIVATION. HE TELLS HER THAT HE DID THAT TO GET HER PREGNANT. NEVERMIND THAT HE DIDNT JUST RAPE HER. HE HAD A ROMANTIC MOMENT. WELL WHATEVER. HE TELLS HER THAT HE DID IT TO BREED.

And after the ordeal is over, THE WOMAN JUST GOES TO SLEEP?!?

What the fuck is this dumb ass piece of screenplay?

Are you fucking crazy?

This woman IS TOLD that AN ALIEN FUCKED HER TO IMPREGNATE HER and she doesn't TRY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? SHE GOES TO SLEEP?!? SHE'S NOT PSYCHOLOGICALLY DISTRESSED?

Remember Alien3? Ripley, a well written character, was scared that she was pregnant with an alien and eventually comitted suicide. THIS DUMB BITCH DOES NOTHING, NOT BECAUSE SHE'S A DUMB BITCH, BUT BECAUSE MOUSENATOR THOUGHT THE ENDING WITH THE PREGNANCY WOULD BE A COOL SCENE, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT MAKES SENSE OR NOT.

NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE REACTED TO ANYTHING. EVERYONE WAS JUST KINDA 'THERE'.

This is without mentioning the fact that within a span of like ten minutes, a billion characters who were supposed to dead came to life. What. No, no, no.

Mousenator, try harder. Get someone else to revise your scripts before you make them, because this script was an irredeemable piece of garbage. Put some more effort into the production aspects of your films, and improve on the payoff for your scenes. As it stands, all you've got is a cheaply constructed, LONG attempt at doing suspense without actually following the suspense up.

4/10



BTW, that's without mentioning the sex scene, which is a scene solely in there to move the plot along, without any concern whatsoever for coherence or reality.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:30 AM   #103
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Oh, and I forgot one of the parts that pissed me off the most.

I don't remember what the fuck the black guy was called, but in one scene, HE DISMANTLES A DOOR'S SECURITY THINGY IN LIKE TWO SECONDS. Then, when a door closes on him and he has A DOOR'S SECURITY THINGY IN FRONT OF HIM, does he try to open it, like you'd think he, a consistent character with the ability to do such a thing, would? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. HE SITS THERE AND DIES. And therein lies the difference between a well written movie and THIS thing. Here, the just looks around and DIES. Why? because that would make a cool scene. In reality, the character would show RESOURCEFULNESS, DESPERATION, or UTTER PANIC. Here he just LOOKS BEHIND AND DIES.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:32 AM   #104
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Hahaha, you are a bad person.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:45 AM   #105
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I'm just utterly fucking stunned here. Not at Mousenator, but at everyone else. Seriously. Just fucking crippled. Even the 'negative' reviews have basically been a few nit picks. I'm just fucking amazed. How. How can Richard Bevis have the balls to say "the scripting is beautiful". Are you out of your fucking mind? Look, I love Litterbug 2. I consider it 3d movie maker's finest achievement. But I would never have the balls to say its script is even 'kinda OK'. And yes, Haynes: I'll wrestle you over this movie. I'll wrestle ANYONE.
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Old 08-26-2005, 08:14 AM   #106
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my goal in life is to make a movie that Andres will like.


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Old 08-26-2005, 08:15 AM   #107
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That is the goal of almost every active 3dmmer on this board.


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Old 08-26-2005, 08:36 AM   #108
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my goal in life is to make a movie that Andres will like.
Just remember, pace yourself. Don't want to hurt yourself.
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Old 08-26-2005, 10:13 AM   #109
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It's official, Hell has frozen over....Andres and I are on the same sides on this one. Seriously I had to stop myself (on multiple occasions) from hitting the stop button while watching this. the only thing that got me through it was the hope that it was going to get better (seeing that all the reviews I had read said it would). I really wanted to like this film and it showed so much potential at times yet it always seemed to find a way drag itself down. It was like there was always something missing, either the music was perfect and the sound effects were off or the direction was great and the sound of silence pulled me out of this once atmospheric world. it just never came together on all fronts at one time.

I really dont want to go into details seeing as Andres pretty much covered it all. Although I do want to applaud Mouse for taking on such an epic project and actually finishing it. I for one can't say I have done the same and I admire that. also there were flashes of brilliance in this movie and if you could pull that off for an entire movie we in this community are in for a real treat in your future movies. but as a whole this movie seriously lacked in many categories and how only a few people have commented on this is astonishing.

5/10
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Old 08-26-2005, 04:14 PM   #110
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Thought the movie was very well made. Really good quality.
Did borrow off Aliens a hell of alot. But hey, I could really care less. As long as it works than I dont have any complaints.
It all went together well and the atmosphere was there. Which, In my opinion is all that matters.

Ill admit, I did stop it though. Its insanely long for a 3d movie. Could have took out alot of the scenes and bits wile still having a solid movie.
Yeah, I could go on and give a beter in depth review but ive got work and other things to do. Ill leave it at this, you put alot of effort into this and deserve good credit. Well done.
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Old 08-26-2005, 05:15 PM   #111
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Very few of those are points I can really debate, Andres. The script was horribly contrived, the dialogue was poor, the major plot points were nonsensical. As a screenplay, it's incredibly amateur. I didn't care; Amateur screenplays in 3DMM movies are practically expected. Your selling point for your Gnomes review was that it tried to have a good screenplay. Not that it had one. That movie got a 9/10, and you wrote:
Quote:
The truth is, though, most of these script problems didn't deter my enjoyment. I'd think about the odd scenes, and quickly I'd forget and get back to the dramatic music and the tense shit going on. So they don't really bring the rating dramatically.
That's where I'm at with Derelict. As a story, it's contrived, nonsensical, and at times idiotic. As an experience, I was able to put all that into the periphery and enjoy the tension and atmosphere.


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Old 08-26-2005, 05:40 PM   #112
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I can't put DERELICT's monstrously retarded script to the periphery because it is just too fucking bad. I know I don't have the right to complain, since SATANIK was totally self-indulgent and senseless, but the whole script of DERELICT consists of a few supposedly 'twisty' or 'surprising' scenes that occur at the expense of any sort of common sense. GNOMES' script was vague. DERELICT's script is total nonsense. Furthermore, GNOMES went by way more quickly. The more you drag the nonsense, the worse it is. And the major difference is that I was able to ignore some of GNOMES' vagueness because the rest of the film's aspects were very well done. You could easily see that the weak link was the script. DERELICT's weak link is everything. Even the good set pieces suffered from the fact that at that point, I just didn't give a fuck. Even if I ignore the script, the movie's scenery sucks ass, the characters look like a bunch of people from the 90s walking around in a spaceship, the sound editing blew ass, and the acting was either too subdued or wayyyy over the top in too many ocassions. Ok, I'll ignore the script. SO? The rest sucked too.
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Old 08-26-2005, 05:45 PM   #113
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I hate to jump into this just as everyone else does... but the reason I haven't said anything is well... yeah I didn't like it. At all. KBYE
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:06 PM   #114
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derilict belongs with other B movies on the sci fi channel.

I was really looking forward to this, but was utterly dissapointed. The voice acting sucked, the progression of events was extremley predictable, the love story was bogus and this was just plain bad.

the only plus was the scenery and animation, which weren't HOYLSHITGOOD anyway. the story and acting ruined it though.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:18 PM   #115
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My little sister liked this movie.


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Old 08-26-2005, 07:26 PM   #116
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That was a great jump, Sever. Great bandwagon jump. I give it a 9.6. Olympics worthy.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:31 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aaron Haynes
Very few of those are points I can really debate, Andres. The script was horribly contrived, the dialogue was poor, the major plot points were nonsensical. As a screenplay, it's incredibly amateur. I didn't care; Amateur screenplays in 3DMM movies are practically expected. Your selling point for your Gnomes review was that it tried to have a good screenplay. Not that it had one. That movie got a 9/10, and you wrote: That's where I'm at with Derelict. As a story, it's contrived, nonsensical, and at times idiotic. As an experience, I was able to put all that into the periphery and enjoy the tension and atmosphere.

OK there are some movies that can get away with having an amateur screen play as long as they are entertaining. This movie on the other hand had none of the above, at times the experience was awesome and very unique to 3dmm but those times were few and far between.
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Old 08-26-2005, 10:12 PM   #118
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Originally posted by Sever
derilict belongs with other B movies on the sci fi channel.

I was really looking forward to this, but was utterly dissapointed. The voice acting sucked, the progression of events was extremley predictable, the love story was bogus and this was just plain bad.

the only plus was the scenery and animation, which weren't HOYLSHITGOOD anyway. the story and acting ruined it though.

Let's see you do better, you wanker.


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Old 08-26-2005, 10:18 PM   #119
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Hahaha Sever you are a K-NOB. It wasn't bad. If anything it was above average.

in my opinion way above average!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-26-2005, 10:20 PM   #120
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Originally posted by Buzvonlurt


Let's see you do better, you wanker.

That's the worst retort ever. Shut the fuck up.
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Old 08-26-2005, 10:55 PM   #121
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Hey Aaron.

I stated that he did a better job than I could of. But I still think my creature design for Identity was good, thus why I think it'd have been awesome, compared to using a fucking xenomorph model.

I think it was a good job, but Andres is right too. Most of it was awful, but I didn't really bother to critique it as it's his first piece and as a 3dmm film. Killed an hour.

And to be perfectly honest, half of the reviews here are fucking retarded. And you know that.

So yeah, BE QUIET MUCH? hah.
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Old 08-26-2005, 11:57 PM   #122
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Why do you all take 3dmm movies so seriously? GAWD, it's a movie about some aliens attacking people, and it was fun to watch. Who cares... shit.


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Old 08-27-2005, 12:07 AM   #123
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most of the reviews here are based on solely on entertainment value.

they're not looking for any possible flaw.

Compare this to 5dmm. I think the story in that movie really sucked, but it was still entertaining. I don't think it even got one bad score, and I also don't think the reviewers of that movie were all retarded.


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Old 08-27-2005, 12:12 AM   #124
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It's not about taking a 3dmm movie too seriously. It's that THE FLAWS ARE THERE. I can't just PRETEND the movie made sense. I can't FOLLOW the damn movie if the plot is dumb. I can't ENJOY scenes if they MAKE NO SENSE.
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Old 08-27-2005, 12:49 AM   #125
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Originally posted by Apfigur
Why do you all take 3dmm movies so seriously? GAWD, it's a movie about some aliens attacking people, and it was fun to watch. Who cares... shit.

I don't, it's just a bit weak that's all.
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