PENCIL

Technically, this is so far my longest movie, being 8 minutes long. The second being Gustaves Ball at 8 minutes.

[Jt Copper]

My god man, this is fantastic!

This was some really great stuff dude, the animation was really good, I could follow the plot line (mostly) and you had a good mix of comedy and action. Though you still have other issues like I couldn't understand what you were saying half the time, mainly because the music is too loud and you were too quiet, try working on you sound to music ratio. Also, even though the whole point of your movie made sense, the whole mindset of it kept going off the rails, like a chain movie. Like you were in a town one minute, and in the next you were in hell, like what the fuck? Aside from that, most of the other problems is just "your 11 years old" kind of thing, so it isn't that big of a deal. So here are my favorite parts:
-For some reason, I really liked the sound effects you used for the shaken up soda can bit. You have a good handle on sounds, keep working with it.
-The random Doom Grunt sounds when timothy walked on you. I lol'ed.
-That transaction @ 3:19. Really delicious, though a bit choppy. Keep working on things like that.
-Zacks voice. Thats it.
-"I AM AN EEEVIL CLONE OF YOOUUUU!!" (Take notes Clinton, this is how "so bad its good" scenes work out.)
-That whole battle scene, obviously.
-The questions and answers to your conscience.
Keep up your work man, your getting way better within each movie you make. In time who knows, you might be the next generation Michael Sandford! :o

[Jt Copper]

Also, @ 4:48

[Dustin Guest]

Wow. I may butt heads with you a bit, but you've shown some VAST improvement. Your animation has come a LONG away and you seem to be reigning in that whole "random shit for the sake of random shit" thing you did when you started. Well done, man.

[Broken Pencil]

In the original cut, I was going to say "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME DEMONIC CLONE??" after the explosion, and he would say "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS". I'm thinking of uploading an updated version to the same thread with a new scene. Or two.

[Theflyingcar]

When "Pencil" walked away. i thought he would've got hit by a car, y'know? self abuse? so that you........nevermind

[Broken Pencil]

Nah, I'm trying not to be a "walk a way LOL GET KILLED" type of guy.

[Theflyingcar]

No, i ment as in pencil 2 gonna stand in the middle of the street and get hit, and you made him walk away right after he said that if he gets hurt, pencil 1 gonna get hurt too. not some stupid blooper.
anyways. fantastic film.

[Ben Rice]

Originally Posted by Broken Pencil

I'm thinking of uploading an updated version to the same thread with a new scene. Or two.

don't, just keep moving forward and make something new.

i watched this and i have to agree that you're getting better at animating. this still wasn't that good though, you need to do something about your mic or at least just make your voice clips loud or clear enough to be understandable. all i could hear was mumbling and this stuff i could make out, well i didn't find it funny.

try and use sandfords street less and make your own custom scenery or something. the first half of this movie looked nice in some places but i kept reminding myself that it's single prop and that you moving them around together. it's easier i know but try and do more custom scenery, it'll pay off. try not to stick to the same camera angle for so long either (e.g. the roof conversation at the very beginning), if you're using sandfords street or any kind of scenery model you might as well alternate between angles.

your animation is looking smoother and better but unfortunately it is dragged down and felt short lived by the quality of the rest of the movie. also, you really really need to be more original with your music choices, enough with the 5DMM music already, jeez.

4/10

[Broken Pencil]

Yeah, my brother was angry about the cafe conversation.

[Theflyingcar]

I should ask.Did you make the lightsaber yourself? I usually don't pay attention to the mod section. or any other thread.

[Jt Copper]

Yesh Ben, cut the kid a break. In this movie, all I saw was effort he absolutely tried his best. Yea, you are right on all your points though, he should definately keep improving, but with all of the shit that has been pumping out onto this community lately its nice to see a movie with some form of effort put into it. And thats why I gave him such a high rating.

[Broken Pencil]

Originally Posted by Theflyingcar

I should ask.Did you make the lightsaber yourself? I usually don't pay attention to the mod section. or any other thread.

Actually, I was searching through my mods in the v3dmm manager and the lightsaber came up. Not sure what I got it from, but I think I got it from Henry vs. S'kelly 2. I'll upload it for all of ya.
EDIT:
http://liambrocklehurst.com/uploader...275/taclsb.vxp

[Eukos]

Great screencaps dude

[Marko Polo]

Haha I didn't even notice that!

[Broken Pencil]

Apparently by Taco.

[Eukos]

Originally Posted by Broken Pencil

Apparently by Taco.

Your posts make no sense.

[Ben Rice]

broken pencil altogether makes no sense

[Jt Copper]

Originally Posted by Ben Rice

broken pencil altogether makes no sense

[Broken Pencil]

No-one appreciates your shitty gifs.
jk

[Nixon]

fuuuaarck, blue cardboard speaking the truth

[Phil Williamson]

yeah this was by far your best work. far from perfect, but massively better than the other stuff you've released in every possible way. keep it up!

[Funny Bones]

https://f001.backblaze.com/file/3dmmtv/KRd.mp4