A 3dmm.com Christmas

Aaron Haynes · 12-24-2006, 08:17 PM

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the board
Only newbies were stirring
Though they were largely ignored

Only a few people noticed
and even fewer took pause
When "Welcome to our newest member"
Suddenly read, "Santa Claus"

No one knew how the name
Had got through Goat's filter.
Even for joke accounts,
It was slightly off-kilter.

His avatar and signature
Were all decked out in red,
And with good tidings and cheer
He then made his first thread.

"Merry Christmas to all!"
He announced with a smile

"This forum looks nice,
I might stay for a while."

"Shut the fuck up," snapped Andres,
who was first to reply,
"Get killed. I'm not joking.
I hope that you die."

The old man was stunned,
A quick refresh confirmed
What the caustic Colombian
Had bluntly returned.

He had not been prepared,
he was taken aback.
"What did I say," he replied
"That could cause this attack?"

"Christ, not this shit again,"
Rudi said with a sigh.
"Tony? Ramza? Doughboy?
Who is it this time?"

"GUYS WHERES YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT,"
Christo piped up in size 9.
"actually, its prolly a nigger",
he added, in size 2 this time.

Old saint Nick was speechless
at the heat of the scold.
He immediately launched
into damage control.

"I was only trying," he said,
this time with a frown

"To bring you all presents,"
And clicked his mouse down.

"haha, clever idea,"
said Goro, amused.
"IP check, you fucking cunt,"
replied Klown as he fumed.

"Not seeing a match," said Tom Breed,
"IT MIGHT REALLY BE HIM. :O"
While this idea amused several,
Overall patience was thin.

Jaymond made .wav files
Out of Old Saint Nick's text;
The portrayal was girlish
And unflattering at best.

Bernatrick defended him,
to which Andres then raged,
"Eat shit, you fucking cretin,"
Among other things, for a page.

As a flamewar emerged,
so too did Jeff Ching.
"uh, could somebody please
give me Coles Notes for this thing?"

Usernames piled up
As the pages plowed on,
and Old Saint Nick shrunk back
and before long was gone.

It's rumored he lurks now,
and you might one day see
a Guest in Who's Online
with a North Pole IP.

The thread's hard to find now
(it was probably pruned)
But every once in a while
If you quiet the room,

You may still hear his joy,
As he whispers with cheer,
"I'ma shit in your stockings
and you'll smell it all year!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ASSHOLES!

Breed · 12-24-2006, 08:20 PM

HAHhAHAahahahah YES

Demented Ferret · 12-24-2006, 08:27 PM

Hahahahahahah, absolutely perfect. That was great.

Pirate Balloon · 12-24-2006, 08:40 PM

I also, enjoyed.

Aaron Haynes · 12-24-2006, 08:44 PM

I wanted to fit a lot more people into it, but giving everyone a unique voice and thing to do with a small amount of syllables is hard.

Glad you guys enjoyed

Warren Wagner · 12-24-2006, 09:02 PM

haha that was very funny.

Gray Fox · 12-24-2006, 09:09 PM

Hahaha, that was great.

My favorite part:

Quote:

As a flamewar emerged,
so too did Jeff Ching.
"uh, could somebody please
give me Coles Notes for this thing?"

Warren Wagner · 12-24-2006, 09:54 PM

Born Zealot · 12-24-2006, 10:15 PM

that was really great. everything that you quoted people on they definitely would say.

Lyntan · 12-24-2006, 10:37 PM

great stuff <:D

Gorosaurus · 12-24-2006, 10:37 PM

That was the most brilliant post of the last two years, hands down. Absolutely magnificent.

Sadly perfect

Dungeon Snake · 12-24-2006, 10:42 PM

hahah awesome

Space Goat · 12-24-2006, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gorosaurus

That was the most brilliant post of the last two years, hands down. Absolutely magnificent.

Sadly perfect

I thought so too, great job, Aaron. Thanks for taking the time to write this.

Phil Williamson · 12-24-2006, 11:26 PM

hahaha this is amazing

Orcus · 12-24-2006, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron Haynes

"GUYS WHERES YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT,"
Christo piped up in size 9.
"actually, its prolly a nigger",
he added, in size 2 this time.

My favorite part for some reason.

But I agree. Absolutely brilliant.

Raz · 12-25-2006, 12:00 AM

That was a great read. Perfect.

Rabid Dinosaur · 12-25-2006, 12:00 AM

Totally got me in the mood.

Mister Movie · 12-25-2006, 12:41 AM

HAHA that was cool

Slade · 12-25-2006, 01:01 AM

Holy shit awesome.

HMC · 12-25-2006, 01:07 AM

Fantastic

Pizza The Hut · 12-25-2006, 01:22 AM

Niceee.

Aaron Haynes · 12-25-2006, 02:02 AM

Awww, thanks, everyone. Glad you guys enjoyed it.

I briefly considered illustrations, but I'd probably still be working on it.

Brimz · 12-25-2006, 02:05 AM

Haha, this is great

Denny Betterman · 12-25-2006, 02:47 AM

haha perfectly done

Damage Jackal · 12-25-2006, 03:43 AM

Oh man, this is so good. Kudos to you!

12-24-2006, 08:17 PM	#1
Aaron Haynes Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 15,125	A 3dmm.com Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the board Only newbies were stirring Though they were largely ignored Only a few people noticed and even fewer took pause When "Welcome to our newest member" Suddenly read, "Santa Claus" No one knew how the name Had got through Goat's filter. Even for joke accounts, It was slightly off-kilter. His avatar and signature Were all decked out in red, And with good tidings and cheer He then made his first thread. "Merry Christmas to all!" He announced with a smile "This forum looks nice, I might stay for a while." "Shut the fuck up," snapped Andres, who was first to reply, "Get killed. I'm not joking. I hope that you die." The old man was stunned, A quick refresh confirmed What the caustic Colombian Had bluntly returned. He had not been prepared, he was taken aback. "What did I say," he replied "That could cause this attack?" "Christ, not this shit again," Rudi said with a sigh. "Tony? Ramza? Doughboy? Who is it this time?" "GUYS WHERES YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT," Christo piped up in size 9. "actually, its prolly a nigger", he added, in size 2 this time. Old saint Nick was speechless at the heat of the scold. He immediately launched into damage control. "I was only trying," he said, this time with a frown "To bring you all presents," And clicked his mouse down. "haha, clever idea," said Goro, amused. "IP check, you fucking cunt," replied Klown as he fumed. "Not seeing a match," said Tom Breed, "IT MIGHT REALLY BE HIM. :O" While this idea amused several, Overall patience was thin. Jaymond made .wav files Out of Old Saint Nick's text; The portrayal was girlish And unflattering at best. Bernatrick defended him, to which Andres then raged, "Eat shit, you fucking cretin," Among other things, for a page. As a flamewar emerged, so too did Jeff Ching. "uh, could somebody please give me Coles Notes for this thing?" Usernames piled up As the pages plowed on, and Old Saint Nick shrunk back and before long was gone. It's rumored he lurks now, and you might one day see a Guest in Who's Online with a North Pole IP. The thread's hard to find now (it was probably pruned) But every once in a while If you quiet the room, You may still hear his joy, As he whispers with cheer, "I'ma shit in your stockings and you'll smell it all year!" MERRY CHRISTMAS, ASSHOLES!

12-24-2006, 08:20 PM	#2
Breed Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 7,768	HAHhAHAahahahah YES
Breed Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 7,768

12-24-2006, 10:37 PM	#10
Lyntan Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 14,315	great stuff <:D
Lyntan Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 14,315

12-25-2006, 12:00 AM	#16
Raz Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 10,485	That was a great read. Perfect.
Raz Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 10,485

12-25-2006, 01:01 AM	#19
Slade Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 9,390	Holy shit awesome.
Slade Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 9,390

12-24-2006, 08:27 PM	#3
Demented Ferret Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 16,248	Hahahahahahah, absolutely perfect. That was great.

12-24-2006, 08:40 PM	#4
Pirate Balloon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 7,911	I also, enjoyed.

12-24-2006, 08:44 PM	#5
Aaron Haynes Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 15,125	I wanted to fit a lot more people into it, but giving everyone a unique voice and thing to do with a small amount of syllables is hard. Glad you guys enjoyed

12-24-2006, 09:02 PM	#6
Warren Wagner Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,747	haha that was very funny.

12-24-2006, 09:54 PM	#8
Warren Wagner Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,747

12-24-2006, 10:15 PM	#9
Born Zealot Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,780	that was really great. everything that you quoted people on they definitely would say.

12-24-2006, 10:37 PM	#11
Gorosaurus Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 16,146	That was the most brilliant post of the last two years, hands down. Absolutely magnificent. Sadly perfect

12-24-2006, 10:42 PM	#12
Dungeon Snake Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 17,524	hahah awesome

12-24-2006, 11:26 PM	#14
Phil Williamson Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 16,900	hahaha this is amazing

12-25-2006, 12:00 AM	#17
Rabid Dinosaur Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 14,894	Totally got me in the mood.

12-25-2006, 12:41 AM	#18
Mister Movie Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 169	HAHA that was cool

12-25-2006, 01:07 AM	#20
HMC Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 8,715	Fantastic
HMC Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 8,715

12-25-2006, 01:22 AM	#21
Pizza The Hut Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 10,633	Niceee.

12-25-2006, 02:02 AM	#22
Aaron Haynes Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 15,125	Awww, thanks, everyone. Glad you guys enjoyed it. I briefly considered illustrations, but I'd probably still be working on it.

12-25-2006, 02:05 AM	#23
Brimz Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,318	Haha, this is great
Brimz Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,318

12-25-2006, 02:47 AM	#24
Denny Betterman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 3,531	haha perfectly done

12-25-2006, 03:43 AM	#25
Damage Jackal Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 18,523	Oh man, this is so good. Kudos to you!